"Mommy, can I watch a movie?" We stumble into the living room and turn on cartoons.
"NO! Not that movie!!" I change the channel until I realize that nothing is satisfying this little monster.
"I want to eeeeeaaaat." But he doesn't know what he wants. And everything I set in front of him is wrong.
"I want Mac & Cheese." For breakfast? I don't care. I make it. I set it before his Royal Highness and he says,
"Noooo... I don't waaannnt Mac & Cheese."
She's up now. Eats her breakfast like a little champ. {The floor, however, is still covered in her food - hours later}.
He's back at it: "I want to go the Y and play with the toys and the kids." Great! I'd love to work out and have a small break from being a mom. I start to get everyone dressed. We walk toward the door.
"I don't want to go to the Y. I want to stay at my hoouuuse and take a nap." The longer I pull him toward the door, the harder he fights me and the louder he whines.
A nap? That would be fine, too. Little one would just scream the entire time I worked out anyway. So shoes come off.
The nap lasted 10 minutes. "Mommy???" I walk in the room. "I'm awake!" Great. Let's play outside. {This pseudo-nap happened three times}.
"I want to play with the rice!" I decide to bring down the beans. Horror erupts when he finds out that beans have entered his playtime rather than the rice. He eventually gets over it.
I remember tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. I need to take my annual holiday picture for the blog. I don't have a backdrop prepared for it and the kids are in no mood to smile.
I decide to make this and let them at in in the bathtub. It was a success.
Then lunch came.
"I want pizza!!" I hand him a leftover slice from yesterday.
"Noooooo!! I don't waaaaant pizza." Chicken nuggets? Maybe he'll like to dip those. He accepts until the plate gets in front of him.
"I don't wannnnt chicken nuggets. I wanna go night-night." Ok, let's go. Halfway to his room.
"I wanna eeeeaaaaat chicken nuggets first!!" Back in the chair.
I walk out of the room at the request to get his sippy cup. And I catch a glance of myself in the mirror. Baggy grey sweatpants wet around the bottom, dirty white tank top that does nothing for holding in my c-section gut. Hair a mess and a face that hasn't seen makeup in days.
I start crying. I've given up everything for these kids. I've given up my freedom, my "me-time", my career, my body.
I can't do it anymore. But I can't NOT do it. Where do I go from here?
Somehow we make it through lunch. And this time he really does go to sleep. I tuck him in and he whispers, "I love YOU, Mommy." Heart melts.
I carry her into her room and sway back and forth as her little head drops to my chest. I smell her hair and think that everything must be right.
Naptime brings a breath of perspective, doesn't it?
Your post sounds as if I could have written it 20 years ago. Just know that it gets better, and relish those nap times!
ReplyDeleteI posted about that Perfect Day in the two to three hours after my hubby came home. What I didn't post about was the all-day (and next two!) that sounded much like this with my two littles (3 & 1). Sickness, boredom, and general whiny-ness was the name of the game.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting and helping me to keep it in perspective! :)
~Samantha
Sounds like you had an eventful morning. Glad that it ended with happy moments.
ReplyDeleteThey do grow up. You would think that they would be more decisive, nope. But my thought was, if I don't let them make little decisions, how can they grow up to make large decisions?! Not my husbands philosophy at the time, but it worked for me, the SAH mom. They have grown up to make decisions on their own and still say "I love you Mom". Glad that nap time started with a smile in your heart.
ReplyDeletethat is my life too! So thankful for the little moments that get me through too
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