Kite Flying - Thoughts on Flying High and Plummeted to the Ground

I think he saw it on Kipper.  Kites.  And wouldn't stop talking about it until we went to the store and got one.

And then wouldn't stop asking about it until we ripped open the package and freed it into the sky and the wind.

It kept his attention for all of five minutes, but the kites gave me hours of entertainment, relaxation, and times of meditation.

Something about watching something so light have so much power and height made me think.  Something about listening to the wind whip through the tails caused me to feel.

That little kite submitted itself to the wind.  If the wind blew to the left, that little kite swerved.  If the wind died down, a plummeting nose dive soon followed.

Yet, the majority of the time, it was so relaxed up there.  Just floating.  Letting the wind do the work.  And I heard God ask me, Why do you not let me do the work in your life? And I realize all the times that I fight God.  That I resist the direction He takes me.  That instead of a kite in the wind, I'm a salmon swimming upstream - against the current.  His current.  His plan.

And to feel.  To feel peace.  To forget worry.  To rest.  To experience His love.  To float.  To live.

He speaks again.  Why do you not just rest?  Rest?  What about my surmounting "to-do" list?  What about teaching my kids their letters and manners?  What about my business?  What about death?  And pain?

It could all be gone tomorrow.  They could all be gone tomorrow.  All of it could.  And there is nothing I can do about that.  But I can have peace.  Experience peace.  Know peace.

Peace that doesn't make sense.  And the sooner I stop trying to understand God and just experience Him, the better it will be.

Because God doesn't make sense.  Bad things happen to good people.  Young mothers are taken too soon. Children get hit by moving cars and could be gone before they were ever really here.  And God is good?  Yes.  God is good.

We can't know His plan or His reasons.  And, for me, it's better to just surrender to that.  Not as a escape or an excuse to make me feel better.  But to allow me to move on and to see the good.  To see people rallying together that otherwise would not.  To see brevity and the mist that life is - and embrace it.  Each minute.

Each smile. 

Because the wind may die down and there is nothing we can do except plummet to the ground.  And somehow, that is exactly in His plan.

 

PS... Word to the wise.  Since I'm not an expert in kite flying, I have lots of advice to give.  Tip #1:  Watch where you're running.  Especially when running backwards to coax your kite to embrace the wind.  There might be a drain just waiting to swallow you.  Embarrassed {yet painful} laughter will ensue... along with days of soreness.

Yep.  That's the drain.  Taller than my 15 month old.  My leg went right through those holes and my body did a terrible twist and tumble - landing in what I'm sure resembled the chalk outline of a dead body.  How's that for lightening up a serious post?

Linking here:

 

He Made It.

I'll be there.  He promised.  He had thirteen grandchildren and was going to make it to each of our high school graduations.  Some people set goals of running a marathon.  Or reading a book list.  Or saving up for a house.  Personal and somewhat selfish goals.

My Grandpa's goal was focused on his grand-kids.  A statement of his commitment to us.  An example of how proud he was to be our Grandpa.

I had begged God to let him live to fulfill that last wish.  But he didn't make it to my little brother's... the youngest Grandchild.  He died at the beginning of his senior year.

The pain of having to say goodbye to someone you love never goes away. Not a goodbye, see ya later. But a Goodbye. With a capital "G".  The kind that is forever - until heaven.

I was reminded last night of my last moments with my Grandpa.  My dad called me and told me this was it.  He asked if I wanted to talk to him.  He couldn't talk back, but I could ramble endless amounts of babble into his ear if I wanted.

Talk to him?  What do you say to someone when you know it's your last chance to talk to them on Earth?

"I love you" doesn't seem enough.

My dad has the phone to my Grandpa's ear.  I can tell from the heavy breathing and otherwise deafening silence.

Grandpa?  I manage to get that out.  I just want you to know that I love you.  I'm so proud to be your granddaughter.  I'm his favorite - he's told me.   That you are my hero.

Except I never got to finish.  In the middle of my sentence, I hear my dad on the phone.  I'm angry.  Upset that my dad got to hear the last words meant for my Grandpa and I break down in serious ugly cries.

I'm not ready, dad.  I wasn't finished.   My dad reassures me that Grandpa heard me.  That he laid his hand over his heart and tapped it a few times as if to gesture the endless amount of love he felt for me.

And then we hang up.  And I wrestle on the floor of my room - 1,500 miles away - with the closing of a chapter.  It feels too final.  Too finished.

I never got to go to the funeral and wondered if my goodbyes said on the phone were enough.  But, somehow writing this (with tears streaming down in the middle of this crowded Starbucks) makes me feel closer to him.  Like the punches of the keyboard are going straight to heaven.  And I'm able to immortalize him for one last time.

My Grandpa loved purple martins.  He put up houses for them in his front yard - homes for these beautiful creatures that come to stay in the summer time.  After my dad put up a house in our own yard, they became the source of most conversations on the phone.

Any Martin's yet?  My Grandpa would ask.  And there never were.  They'll come.  They'll come.  He would reassure us.

And come they did.  Every single summer since he died.

I remember when I saw my first one apart from the floods that came to my Grandpa's house.

We were hot and sticking to our chairs listening to name after name be read over the loudspeaker.  I was in a bored trance until the list of names started to reach the letter "M" for Murphy.  It was almost my brother's turn to cross over the stage that makes you into an adult when my mom gasped.  My dad pointed and we see a beautiful purple martin gliding down low.  Right across the sea of graduating seniors.

 My Grandpa made it.

 

Healing Rain

I don't remember exactly what I had done to make me feel this way.  But something that night of my junior year in college made me feel ugly.  Gross.  Dirty.

All I remember is waking up the next morning, sitting by my living room window with my journal and begging God for some rain.  Some healing rain.  Some heavy rain.  Rain that would drop so hard on my face that after one minute of being in it, I would be thoroughly drenched.

I imagined myself out in the middle of it.  Head tipped back.  Arms stretched out.  Pound after pound of each raindrop hitting so fast that I have to close my eyes and instinctively open my mouth.  I can't hear anything except that rain.  And no one else is there.  But I feel clean.  I feel refreshed in a way that a shower can't accomplish.  Because this rain - this cleansing - comes from heaven.

One more glance out the window of my living room assures me that there is no rain.  Not even a sign of rain.  No chance.

Defeated, I pack up my bag and head out the door to another day of student teaching.

The radio is on and life stops as I realize the song is about rain.  Not just that song, but the next one, too!  Every song on the radio as I drove those 10 miles to my 6th grade classroom was about rain.

God HAD sent me rain - in the form of song.  To tell me that I was clean.  I was perfect.  I was His.

And He was listening.

 

5 Practical Ways to Pray for the World

In our home, Superheroes may be pretty popular.  The handsome looks of Spiderman and Wonderpets are hard to ignore.  This is all fine and dandy to me - the fact that my kids idolize superheroes.  {I even bought them both capes to fuel their fire.}

But the REAL superheroes in my mind are the missionaries of this world.  The people who leave everything behind to show others in far away places that Jesus can be everything to them.

These are the real life superheroes that I want my kids to idolize.  The ones I want my children to be inspired by and hope to be like when they grow up.

The best way that I know how to do this is to start surrounding them with ideas and life from outside our little city. 

So, I bring you: 5 Practical Ways to Pray for the World.

1. A few years ago, I bought this book: Portraits by Steve McCurry.  It's an amazing book filled with striking images of people around the world.  I often let my kids look through it and marvel at the creativity our God had in creating people.

Prayer idea:  Pray for the people in each photo as a representation of the people in their native country.

This picture is from awhile ago when Jonah had to wear his helmet.

2. Use your natural home decor style to remind you of God's heart for people and the world.  You saw the interchangeable wreath I made last week.  Well, I found a permanent home for her.  In between a J and a Y - found at Joann Fabrics.  {I simply added a doily to each letter by spraying it with adhesive spray and pressing the doily firmly down.  Then trimmed around the edges.}

It {obviously} spells JOY.  And I purposely put it next to my map wall art because I want to be reminded that God wants "JOY to the World" all year round - not just at Christmas!

Prayer Idea:  Pick a different country on the map each day to pray that God's peace and JOY would rule over the hearts of the people.

Tutorial on how I made the map wall art here.

3. Today, I noticed the words "made in Madagascar" written on the tag of my little one's shirt.  She was snuggling me after her nap {such a sweet time} when I noticed it.  Many thoughts ran through my head.  I wondered what the conditions of the factory were.  I hoped the workers were getting a fair wage.  I almost became irate at the thought of me supporting something that might not be treating others with respect.

Then God spoke to my heart:  Pray for the countries where your clothes are made.  Check out your labels - I think you'll be surprised how many different countries are represented. 

Prayer Idea:  Look at the label of your clothing before putting it on each morning and pray for the country where you item was made throughout the day.

4.  Use the book Operation World to open your eyes to the specific needs of each country.  Their website highlights a different country and their specific prayer needs every day.  And an entire list of free prayer resources to help guide you.

Prayer Idea:  Sign up to receive their daily email that highlights a prayer point for a specific country and pray for that country over breakfast.  If you have kids, show them where the country is on the map as you pray for them.

5.  Use globes in your home decor.  The more the merrier.  Vintage, big, small, broken, dirty, new - they all are such masterpieces and reminders of how small we really are.

Prayer Idea:  Spin the globe and pray for wherever your finger lands!  You might find some "new" countries by doing this!  {Use the Operation World book to look up specific prayer needs of the country you land on!}

I'd love to hear any more ideas/resources you use to pray for God's people of the world, too!  What an honor we have to pray for those halfway across the world.  It's powerful.

Just You and Me

He takes the kids to the park and I'm left alone.  The house is quiet, but the dishes need done, so I turn it on.  And it plays.  And my heart screams with joy.

"Take my heart, I lay it down at the feet of you who's crowned"

My eyes close and I uncontrollably sing.  Hands wet with soapy water from the endless pit of dishes, my mind goes empty.  Empty with everything except Him.

"Take my life, I'm letting go.  I lift it up to You who's throned "

I almost didn't turn the music on.  I almost just sat at the computer and looked at the endless amounts of inspiration that overflows the Internet.  I almost didn't listen to that small voice that whispered, "meet with ME."

"Meet with Me over a sink full of dishes - I don't care."  And I have never felt more connected.  Because whenever my heart is connected, it's just me and Him.

The dishes are suddenly done, I realize that my heart is FULL.  Why don't I do all my mundane tasks in the presence of Him?

Linking to:

the time he didn't propose

Below is another article I wrote for Radiant Magazine (the discontinued sister mag to Relevant Magazine).

It's written about an extremely painful time in my life.  When my boyfriend (now husband) decided NOT to propose.  In light of Valentine's Day coming up, I thought I'd sit on the side of the single ladies and share this article.  No, not every Valentine's Day was spent in joyful bliss.  Sometimes it was just painful. 

It hurts, but God wants to teach us in our pain.

Here we go...

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{via Summer 2006}

For the first time in my life, I have no idea what I’m doing.  I have no idea what my life looks like after my internship is up on August 1^st.  No idea what state I’ll be living in, where I will be worshiping on Sundays, how I’ll be financing my unidentified apartment or who my unknown best friends will be.

To make matters worse, everyone keeps asking me what I’m going to do come August.  After explaining my oh-so-ambiguous plans, they look at me with big eyes, an enormous smile and positively exclaim,

“That’s SO exciting!  Not knowing what you’re doing.  It’s like a big adventure with God!”

I nod quickly, thankful for their encouragement, and then exit the conversation and perimeter as fast as I can before the tears inevitably start to fall.

The plans of my life weren’t always so unclear.  In fact, three weeks ago I was helping my boyfriend pick out my engagement ring and hearing him describe his plans of asking my dad for my hand in marriage and proposing to me on a family vacation that ended last week.

Most people would be appalled that I knew when my proposal was going to happen, but I’ve never been very good at surprises.  I always knew what I was getting at Christmas way before the morning of.  Not knowing all the details of something big that is coming drives me crazy.  It’s a control issue God is currently breaking me of, but being aware of everything that is going to happen gives me satisfaction that my life is on track.  Or maybe just the assurance that it’s on a track at all.

According to my plans and the expectations I had been given, I should be writing this article with a diamond ring sparkling on my left finger.  Each tap of the “S” key should be resulting in some bling from a .75 carat Princess cut solitaire. 

But, things didn’t quite go as I had expected them to.  Two days before my boyfriend was to fly with our engagement ring to southern California for a beach vacation with my family, he pulled some surprising news.

He said that while he still wanted to marry me and loved me whole-heartedly, he felt convicted that he hadn’t given God enough say in whether this was the right time to propose to me.  My life seemed to crash around me as I listened to him describe his desire to have God control the timing of his life and our relationship.  I should’ve been thrilled that my boyfriend was seeking God in one of the most important decisions of our lives, but instead the only thoughts surfacing were those of disappointment and confusion.  I was suddenly out of control… things were not going as planned.

God has shown me through all this that I have no right to have any expectations for my life.  Who am I to tell Him where I want to be next year?  Who am I to tell Him how my life should turn out?  I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t have the whole picture.  I can’t see my life’s future like God can.  I can’t see which plan of mine will succeed the best.  And I definitely can’t have expectations for what my life will look like in two years when I don’t have any control over the days in between.

There is something I CAN do, though.  I can surrender my expectations and control of my life over to the One who is truly in control - to the One who sees the future and designed my life with His perfect plan.  I can count on Him to surprise me and take me places I never thought I could go while teaching me more about His unfailing and undying love for me.

For some reason, God is not allowing me to know my future right now.  And after a period of rebellion and frustration, I am finally coming to terms with that.  This is a good place to be.  It forces me to completely trust in the Jesus I confess to have faith in. 

Sadly, I think my life so far has made God closterphobic.  I have been so committed to seeing my plans succeed and banking on the expectations I had coming true, God has had no room to move.  He’s been walled in by my expectation to be engaged last week.  He’s been caged in with my plan to be married by next summer.  And He’s been tied up because of my desire to orchestrate the details of my life.

My heart is screaming to break Him free, and I must listen and obey it.  I must untie him and give him the space to run and dance and move in my life – no matter what that looks like for “my plans”.

Proverbs 19:21 makes it clear that trading in my plans for God’s has to be the best plan I’ve yet to make; “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails”.  The Lord’s purpose will prevail in spite of my plans, but how much better to surrender those plans upfront to the Lord to do with what He will. 

It’s scary.  It’s uncertain.  It’s exciting.

Tonight, my boyfriend and I decided on a mission statement for our new lives of surrender to God’s plans.  We want to recklessly abandon our lives for the cause of Christ.  That means not having any idea of what a future looks like, but knowing that God is going to take us on a real adventure with Him and He’ll really be able to use us because we’re available, willing, and have no previous plans. 

The first step is to free up my life planner.  Good thing I wrote in pencil.

Interested in reading more? Read one I've already shared here. And another one here.

Linking to 504 Main, Casey Leigh, and Serenity Now today.

heaven has celebrity magazines

The bigger this blog gets, the more I struggle with basking in the fame.  And I'm getting pretty sick of my attitude.  I don't want to care about "followers".  I don't want my heart to do leaps and dances each time the number of my "fans" goes up.  And I don't want to have this sinking feeling when someone unsubscribes.  In fact, it would just be easier if I could delete the following terms from my mind and conversation:

• ~ fans
• ~ followers
• ~ subscribers
• ~ readers
• ~ and stats

I don't want you to read that and think I don't care about YOU.  YOU, the one with blonde hair who sits each morning at her computer with her coffee to catch up on Better Life.  Or YOU, the one with seven adorable kids that clamor for your attention all day long.  Or YOU, the one that comments and emails and encourages.  I KNOW that behind each of these posts are thousands of eyes.

Eyes that belong to people.

And honestly, that makes it all worth it.  If I can encourage your heart and soul for the five minutes it takes to read a Better Life blog post, then I will keep on keeping on.

But I've got to get it out of my mind that I NEED you here.  To build me up.  To encourage me.  To tell me I'm a great person.  I can't/shouldn't get that from all of you.  I can only get that from Him.  Enter my memory verse for the week.  John 12:43...

Remember this post?  I'm so embarrassed I started that lovely, giveaway post off by complaining about lack of comments.  And that I ran that Facebook promotion to get more fans.  Forgive me for seeking your praise above God's.

What do I want to be famous for anyway?  The "reach" of my blog?  My 3,000th follower?  The 400th bag sale?  no.  I can't take any of that with me when I die.

I want to be famous for loving.  For encouraging.  For inspiring other to love God more and love people more.  This blog may have thousands of readers, but I only blog FOR one.  Him.

He must become greater; I must become less. {John 3:30}

{help me remember that.}

So...
I've deleted the little box on my blog that shows how many fans and followers I have.  It seems that Google Friend Connect is going away anyway on March 1st and who knows what Google is going to do to all you lovely readers.  If you want to be sure to get my updates after March 1st, the best way would be to subscribe to the newsletter which will deliver the blog posts to your email.  {But, I'll try not to care if you unsubscribe}.

And I'd delete my Facebook fan number if I could, but you can guarantee there will be no more "I'm only 5 fans away from ...."  {usually someone deletes themselves immediately after I post that, anyway - Murphy's Law}.

It's funny... as I was writing this post I was reminded of a certain vice I had in college... celebrity gossip magazines.  You know the kind.  I'd go to the bookstore to "study" and find my self hidden behind piles of them.  I went on a fast from them once I realized it was out of control.  It was then that God shared something with me.

Heaven has celebrity magazines that are all the rage.  Except, instead of Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson covering every page, there are pictures and articles about us.  Us... people who are doing good.  People who are loving with all their heart.  People who are giving when it seems they have nothing left to give.  People who are doing it all for God and His Glory.

And we are famous.
 

Linking to Journey of Faith Friday.

when a homeless man sleeps in your garage

I've been wanting to write this post for awhile.  Have started it multiple times and never finished.  We'll see how today goes.

A few months ago we had a homeless man sleeping in our garage.  Yes, you read that right.  A homeless man took up camp in our garage.

We invited him to stay.  Crazy?  Probably.  But we really felt like we had to be Jesus to this guy.  He stayed for 10 days before we took him to a rehab home, after he stole our bikes and $10.  I don't hate him for that.  My heart hurts for him and the addictions that he has.  I only wish we could've done more for him.

I did fear for my family's safety while he was resting his head on an air mattress in place of our CRV.  I made sure Neil double and triple checked the locks on the doors before going to bed.

And now, sometimes the thought of him coming back to our doorstep scares me a little.

But, thankfully, I'd handed over the safety of my family to God a long time ago.

Ever since our guest, my heart has been softer toward the people I see on the off-ramps of our highways.  Even more now that it's cold outside.

Today, an amazing opportunity dropped in our laps.  We were on our way to Bible Study (of all places) when we saw him: "Randy".  It's his normal corner on the off-ramp to Ford Road.  We drove by him and I noticed Jonah looking at him.  My mouth started to speak before my head could think twice.

"That man doesn't have anywhere to sleep, JoJo.  And no food to eat.  Should we pray for him?"

"uh huh"

Neil goes one step further - "Let's give him something to eat!"

"We don't have anything to give him," I exclaimed, but my Jesus-like husband pulled out his wallet and turned the car around.

JoJo watched the entire time as his Daddy became the hands and feet of Jesus.

Neil got back in the car and asked Jonah if he wanted to pray for Randy.

"God - thank you for Randy.  Peese help him," he said in his choppy toddler voice.

Tears welled up in my husband's eyes and we both realized the huge responsibility we have to teach our son {to model to our son} the heights and the depths that Jesus went to in order to love people.

We were a few minutes late to Bible Study, but I think Jesus was ok with that.

{comments are disabled on this post.  I don't want any praise.  If you feel the need to write a comment, you can email me.  But I'd prefer you just praise Jesus instead.  He deserves it.  Or go be Jesus' hands and feet to the next person you see on the corner.  It's not really our money anyway.)

Hidden in My Heart: Scripture Lullabies CD {a giftaway}

* Giveaway Closed *

Last year, I discovered my FAVORITE CD ever.  Hidden In My Heart: Scripture Lullabies is more than amazing.  And it definitely is not just for babies.  In fact, I listen to this more than my kids do.  And every single time God speaks to me.

He's reminded me that He will never leave me or forsake me.  He's reminded me to BE STILL and know that He is God.  He's reminded me that He is able, so I am able to do anything.  This CD sings scripture into my life and embeds it deep into my heart.

Click to watch this video to get a sample of the songs.



Isn't it so peaceful?  Isn't it magical?  Isn't it wonderful to hear the word of God?

Last year, around this time, I was able to offer Hidden in My Heart: Scripture Lullabies CD to one of you.  And I'm pretty confident that most of you went and bought your own copy afterwards.  I know I did - five in fact!  This is my go-to baby gift for new mamas and they ALWAYS tell me how much it speaks to their hearts in the middle of the night.

If you are still wanting a copy of Volume I, they are offering a 20% discount code for a limited time seen here.

But, it gets better!   My FAVORITE CD ever has come out with Volume II!  And it's just as great as the first Volume.  They sent me a super secret download link of the entire Volume II CD to review, and it's just amazing.  Now, I have twice as long to listen to such sweet scripture.  The style of music is exactly the same as Volume I, so if you loved the first one, you'll LOVE the second.

Who wants Volume II for free?!  You will officially be one of the first to get your CD since the website will launch Volume II for sale THIS WEEK.  Keep your eyes opened here or here for the launch of Hidden in My Heart: Scripture Lullabies Volume II!

Two ways to enter to win Volume II (leave a comment on this post for each one you complete)!
1. Click here to Subscribe to Better Life Blog by Email
2. Visit Hidden in My Heart's Facebook page and tell them I sent you!

cookbook stand to book holder {a "great idea" post}

As we are all (in America) recovering from our turkey induced comas, I bring you a "great idea" post.

I got a cookbook holder for our wedding.

I don't cook.

But I DO use the cookbook holder!  Just not for a recipe book.

I use it to hold the current book I'm reading.  And lately, as I've found it increasingly hard to get time in God's Word, the Bible has been open behind the plexiglass.

I leave it on a passage a week and read it whenever I walk by.  Or whenever I do the dishes in this dishwasher-lacking home.

And just like God promised, every time I walk by and read something - it becomes alive and speaks to that very moment.

Like today, when I was just about ready to quit on life I read, "You, O God, keep my lamp burning" (Psalm 18:28) and I suddenly had a boost of energy - knowing that it is God that gives me strength to keep picking up after two tornado children.

So, dig that cookbook stand out from your cupboard and get the Word open!

Black Friday/Small Business Saturday/Cyber Monday... I'm celebrating it all!  All Gift Certificates are on SALE! Get the full printed price for much much cheaper here.  These are awesome gifts for that someone who might like to design their own Better Life Bag!

what would you have left tomorrow?

It's Thanksgiving.  The day we all give thanks.  I'm not very good at giving thanks.  Are you?

Maybe this will help.

I pinned this quote on Pinterest awhile back and it continues to haunt me every day.  Am I giving enough thanks?  Even when life is HARD?  And the kids are whiny?  And someone vandalizes my house?  Or breaks into my car?  Thanks is hard.

There has been a huge trend towards Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts.  Basically she encourages everyone to start writing down the simple everyday things we are thankful for each day.  And make it a goal to reach 1000 entries.

I quit after just two weeks.  I guess I'm not very good at giving thanks.  That is - until she came out with an iPhone app!  I can log my 1000 gifts with a picture and a caption.  Now THIS is right up my alley.  I love pictures and I love documenting life and memories.  And I LOVE my iPhone.  Now I can add my thankfulness in the midst of it all.

It is my end of the year goal to have this be the last waking thing I do every day.  Fall asleep while logging my thankfulness.

It should make for a great end of year.  Join me?  Download the app here.

BLB of the day: The Alicia 

Save 10% with BAGOFTHEDAY {good only on this bag until midnight on date of blog post}

if i make one wrong turn in life, am i lost forever?

Did you like the article I posted last week? The one I published in Radiant magazine about seven years ago? 

Want to read another one?

I sort of feel like I'm bearing the soul of my 22 year old self by showing you these.  Even though the were printed in a magazine for thousands of eyes to read, to show them here feels like I'm exposing a journal entry.  Maybe because I feel that you guys KNOW me.  And I KNOW you.  Those thousand eyes back then were nobodies.  You are not.  Consider that a compliment...


This one is called "Mishaps with Directions".  I sort of became the Mishap Girl for this magazine.  My entire series of articles were all about how I've screwed up in different areas and learned from them.  This one is one of the more light-hearted "screw-ups".  They do get deeper.  And I will share them here.  


{I think}.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mishaps with Directions"

March 2006

Las Vegas, Nevada.  My best friend and I found ourselves there on a scorching July day.  Our families were vacationing together when we decided to escape the heat for awhile and go shopping.  We walked two miles with an air-conditioned mall in sight, accumulated a number of shopping bags, and proceeded to start our long walk back.  Immediately sweating after opening the mall door, we decided it would be better take the bus back down the Strip.

Seeing a bus pull up, we ran and hopped on – not thinking to ask which direction it was heading.  After ten minutes of a deep girly discussion, we looked up and realized the Las Vegas Strip was no where to be found.  In fact, we were the only ones still left on the bus and the driver was pulling over and getting off himself.  He left us wondering where we were and where he was going.   

We were lost.  Utterly, hopelessly lost.  Somewhere along the way, we forgot to look for directions.

Sometimes I wonder what God’s directions for my life look like.  Are they easier to follow than the public transportation in Las Vegas?  Does God leave me to fend for myself like that bus driver?  If I make one small mistake, one wrong turn, am I lost beyond His help?  Have I messed up His glorious plans for my life when I turn left instead of right?  And how am I supposed to know He wants me to turn right?

While I’m thankful God doesn’t desert me, I think it would be helpful if He was a little clearer in where to go.  In fact, I’ve decided it would help if God’s voice came on a GPS system.  My dad recently bought a new car with a navigational system installed.  Wanting to take a trip to the local ice-cream store to experience this new technology, my entire family piled in and typed “Dairy Queen”.  We allowed “The Voice” to guide us turn by turn into the parking lot.  He could never let us down.

Imagine how surprised we were when on our way to the church, The Voice told us to turn the opposite direction out of our subdivision.  My dad quickly responded, “He doesn’t know ‘nuttin’” as he turns the correct way – while The Voice barks over and over “Turn around, wrong turn.  Turn around, wrong turn”.  We made it safely to church that day.  The Voice didn’t know as much as we thought he did.

                                                                                                                          

Maybe it would be more beneficial if God was like mapquest.com.  I’d type in a brief description of where I am now in life and my desired destination, press enter, and have God’s step-by-step plan of how to get from Point A to Point B. 

However, a recent experience tells me that sometimes Mapquest decides to send you on a road that no longer exists.  I suppose this would not be as helpful as I thought. 

Despite how convenient it would have been, I think I’ve figured out why I wasn’t born with a map outlining every turn and decision in my life.  If I did, I would have no reason to talk to or trust in God.  My Bible would sit under my bed collecting dust because every time I come to a crossroads in my life, I find myself seeking God more and more for His will and His answer.  I find myself pouring over Scripture to discover God’s heart.  It has been in the times when I have no idea what to do with my life that I have grown closest to God.  And that’s ultimately what He wants – an intimate relationship with me.

But, He’s not always clear with me.  He doesn’t always write the answer on the wall or give me a verse that says, “Becky will do this next year”, but as I seek Him, He shows me more of His desires and heart for the lost of this world. 

He shows me through verses like Matthew 28:19-20 that no matter where I go, I am called to make disciples and spread the Gospel.  He comforts me in Deuteronomy 31:8 that the Lord goes before me and will never leave me or forsake me.  And, when I study Jeremiah 10, verse 23 tells me that my life is not my own.  It is not even my responsibility, obligation, or privilege to direct my own steps. 

It’s His.

I’m at a crossroads in my life right now, and every option seems to be something God would direct my steps into.  I look to the right and there’s the option of staying on Campus Crusade for Christ staff.  Then, on my left is a new job of directing and running a teen youth center.  Straight ahead is my boyfriend who is most likely reenlisting in the Army for three years, so there’s the decision of moving closer to him.  And I really only have two months to decide.

Although I’m definitely not an expert on making crucial life decisions and seeking God’s will in them, I think there are a few key points I can know for sure. 

First, God wants me to be of value and use to Him – wherever I am.  I need to look at my options and decide where I will be of most use to God.

Secondly, God wants me to look primarily to Him for my decision.  It’s dangerous when I rely on other people’s advice more than God’s guidance, and I do this often.

Finally, when I am lost and confused about the next direction in my life, I can be reassured that as it says in Isaiah 30:21, whether I turn to the right or the left, I will hear a voice behind me saying, “This is the way; walk in it”. 

Listen for that voice – the voice that sometimes shouts and sometimes whispers, and run hard after it.  And when you hear it, stay on the course.  Detours are not recommended.