When I sew, I listen to Pandora.
Often on the Shane & Shane Playlist I created.
The other day, this song came on (by Tenth Avenue North) and I just had to stop sewing and listen.
There are a million reasons why this song speaks straight to my heart.
But mostly, to hear those TRUTHS as if they are coming straight from the mouth of God.
"You are my beloved."
"Death shall not part us. It's you I died for."
They are incredible vows.
Vows that are deeper and so much stronger than the ones Neil and I said to each other three years ago.
So often I look to Neil to satisfy some deep longing inside me.
To be the perfect fulfillment of the promises he made me on our wedding day.
To protect, to cherish, to love unconditionally.
And Neil is an incredible loving, self-sacrificing, generous, caring man.
As close to perfection as I could find.
But can't meet my deepest desires - as much as he wants to.
Only God can.
And this song is a powerful reminder that He HAS vowed himself to me.
And it's ME that's running away from what He can give.
"Love of my life.
Look deep in my eyes.
There you will find what you need.
I'm the giver of life."
And then another reminder of how I screw up the perfect relationship we have.
"Well you've been a mistress, my wife.
Chasing lovers it won't satisfy.
Won't you let me make you my bride."
I have been a mistress.
I have cheated on God.
I have put other people and other things (crafting, the business, my kids, seeking rest. and so much more) in the place He belongs.
I have chased other dreams and desires and left Him in the dust.
And yet, He still wants me back.
He still calls my name and desires to have this dirty, unfaithful girl back in His arms.
That is a mystery.
And an incredible act of forgiveness and unconditional love.
Who wouldn't want that?
It's a Better Life with him as my true husband.
The Better Life Bag I'm working on today: